A common goal that men and people with penises want to reach is becoming more sexually confident.
Society has conditioned many men and people with penises to view sex as a performance. This often leads them to prioritise intimacy based on endurance, physical strength, initiating the sexual encounter and maintaining an erection. Over time, this constant need to perform can cause anxiety and feelings of emptiness. Worrying about initiating every encounter, maintaining a solid erection, and managing how quickly they finish can leave them disconnected.
What is Sexual Confidence?
Sexual confidence is a man’s belief in his ability to understand and express his sexual needs while maintaining overall well-being. True confidence isn’t about knowing all the right moves, living up to unrealistic standards created by porn or media, or maintaining a rigid physical performance. It’s an internal state of safety, self-belief and attunement. It’s also about feeling empowered to take up space in intimacy. This includes sexual courage and self-disclosure, allowing individuals to communicate boundaries, clarify wishes and openly express desires without hesitation or shame. Ultimately, it’s moving away from viewing sex as a test or performance and embracing a positive self-evaluation where intimacy becomes an embodied experience of connection, curiosity and mutual satisfaction.
How can a Somatic Sex Coach Help You Build Sexual Confidence?
If you have felt disconnected from your body and partner or caught up in overthinking or experiencing performance anxiety during intimacy, you’re not alone. Working alongside a certified somatic sex coach will help you to set the overthinking or freezing to the side by allowing you to learn the skill of getting out of your head and into your body. We will look at how somatic (body-based) tools of breath, sound, movement, awareness, and touch can create safety and pleasure throughout and leading up to sexual experiences. Through the coaching process, you’ll learn to let go of expectations from the media, stop treating sex as a checklist, and discover what it feels like to experience sex on your own terms.
What you’ll learn:
Embodiment
The skill to tune out overthinking and stay present with physical sensations in your body
Self Knowledge
Identifying personal turn-ons and turn-offs
Your boundaries, wants and desires
What pleasure looks like for you
Learn about arousal
Self Acceptance
Let go of shame, guilt and anxiety around expectations of sex and intimacy.
Health
How your hormonal, physical and mental well-being are intertwined with sex.
Communication
How to voice your desires, fears and boundaries
Active listening skills
Saying and hearing no
Mutual Pleasure
Learn about your partner’s anatomy and what may bring them pleasure alongside your own
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you are curious about how somatic sex coaching can support you or your relationship, you can book a Foundation Session to explore your goals in a safe, non-judgmental space.
I offer:
Online Somatic Sex Coaching for men, women, and couples who want to move past intimacy blocks and towards creating the sex life of their dreams.
A gentle, attuned approach at your own pace
Tools to build safety, trust, connection and communication
The foundation session is where we will explore your goals for future sessions to help you build trust and touch that feels both safe and pleasurable.
Your Desire has Pathways.
Let’s explore them together.
Sex coaching for men, women, and couples with Michaela Tutty
Michaela Tutty is a Somatic Sexologist and Certified Sex Coach who works with men, women, and couples to improve their relationships, sex, and intimacy through practical skills. Michaela completed her BA in Psychology from Massey University and her certificate in Somatic Sex Coaching from the Institute of Somatic Sexology.