Spit doesn’t Replace Lube

We have all been there. Things are getting heated, the mood is flowing, and momentum is building, and then you notice that things are feeling dry. Instead of venturing into the bedside drawer, you or your partner uses some spit to keep going.

It feels natural, it’s always available, and it’s 100% free. So what’s the harm?

As a somatic sex coach, my goal is to help you find more pleasure while keeping your body safe and comfortable. When keeping your body in mind, spit is not a substitute for a high-quality lubricant. This blog post will explore why your body deserves the upgrade from saliva, and how keeping lube nearby will work to create a more satisfying experience for everyone involved.

Friction & Anatomy

A lubricant’s primary job is to reduce friction to create a smooth barrier that protects delicate tissues. Spit evaporates when exposed to body heat and air because it is around 99% water, which means friction comes back as fast as it was alleviated. When we look at our anatomy and how we play, appropriate lubrication becomes more critical:

The Anus

The anus is not self-lubricating. Engaging in any anal play without a generous amount of high-quality lube can cause painful tearing. The anticipation of pain can cause tension in the body, which makes for an uncomfortable experience. As there is no natural moisture to fall back on, using a dedicated lubricant is essential to keep anal play safe, relaxed, and pleasurable.

The Vagina/Vulva

Though the vagina is self-lubricating, using lube can create more pleasure. It will help when used on the clitoris, the labia and the vagina to ensure micro tears don’t occur from friction. Adding commercial lube to the mix works to elevate the experience on multiple levels.

The Penis

Using lubrication on the penis, whether receiving a handjob or a blow job, can level up the experience for the penis owner. Adding some water-based or silicone-based lube to a handjob or a blowjob can reduce the painful friction of dry skin on skin rubbing. Lube mimics natural wetness and makes every stroke feel smooth for the person receiving it.

Health Reasons

The Risk of Passing on STIs

Using saliva as a lubricant carries a risk of transmitting sexually transmitted infections. It is a common misconception that if you aren’t having full-on oral sex or doing 69, it means the risk of getting an STI is null. However, saliva or spit can carry bacteria or infections that are present and transfer them to the genitals. This includes Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV), which can be shed asymptomatically even without an active cold sore, as well as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HPV.

Disrupting The Vaginal Microbiome

Introducing saliva into the vaginal canal can disrupt the natural ecosystem. This disruption occurs because the mouth and vagina have different PH levels and are different environments. Saliva has digestive enzymes that are meant to break down food. When these enzymes are introduced to the vagina, they throw off the acidity of the vagina that is protective. This disruption is a known cause for Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) and thrush. This means your makeshift lube habit may be the hidden reason behind recurring post-sex discomfort.

Reframing the Lube Interruption

People often use spit because of the fear that stopping to get lube will kill the mood or disrupt the connection. Try to reframe the act of applying lube as an intentional part of your play rather than an unwanted interruption. Slowing down to apply the lube can be sensual and a moment of care for the person you are connecting with. This pause signals to everyone involved that you are prioritising comfort, safety and pleasure.

Finding your Path to Pleasure

If you want to keep things feeling smooth and healthy, ditch the spit and invest in a good water-based or silicone-based lubricant. Your body will feel safer, your skin will thank you, and your pleasure pathways will open up without the looming threat of friction or a post-sex infection.

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