Ask Michaela: During sessions, do you give demonstrations?

Welcome to the very first edition of Ask Michaela! This is a dedicated space where I answer your anonymous questions about intimacy, embodiment, and how somatic sex coaching works in practice.

To kick things off, I’m diving into a question that recently landed in the inbox: “During sessions, do you give demonstrations?”

This first post is a good opportunity to pull back the curtain on how a session works.

When you are new to somatic sex coaching, it is completely natural to wonder what a body-based practice looks like on a day-to-day basis. Because this modality combines embodiment, anatomy education, communication skills, and somatic tools instead of focusing solely on traditional talk therapy, it’s normal to have curiosity about where the boundaries are drawn.

In this first post, let’s demystify how demonstrations work, what safety boundaries are always in place, and what you can expect when working with me.

How demonstrations work

To address this directly: No, I don’t show demonstrations of anything explicit in nature on my body, nor do I use touch to demonstrate techniques on yours. Somatic sex coaching is completely educational, and any professional self-demonstration on my part is done fully clothed. This means you will never be asked to view or engage in anything that crosses these professional boundaries during a call. Clarifying this boundary upfront ensures that we establish a safe, comfortable foundation before we ever look at practical tools.

Instead, I use a fully clothed self-demonstration exclusively to introduce you to the 5 somatic tools: breath, sound, movement, touch, and awareness. During our online Zoom calls, I will guide you through specific exercises involving these tools and practice them right alongside you. Doing these practices together in real time provides clear visual guidance while you explore how each tool feels in your own system and will allow us to make adjustments to ensure they work for you. This collaborative approach completely demystifies the tools, giving you the absolute confidence to use them independently outside of our sessions.

Fully clothed, practical tools used on camera.

I use a vulva pillow and a penis model on camera to show you what mapping, arousal, or strokes look like. These physical props provide a clear visual reference to pair directly with my verbal instructions, allowing you to see the techniques mapped out in real time. Using these educational tools removes ambiguity, making the anatomy education practical and easy to comprehend.

What the boundaries are in session

Any intimate or erotic practices that I introduce in sessions are not completed in session. They are given as home play, which means that they are structured, low-pressure invitations for you to explore in the comfort and privacy of your home, and you can do them at your own pace.

You remain fully clothed at all times during our Zoom sessions. Every practice we do is an invitation, meaning you have the absolute right to say no, to change your mind, or to alter an exercise to suit your comfort level at any moment (We LOVE informed consent here). Normalising these choices in a live setting allows you to practice setting boundaries, navigate consent and strengthen autonomy in real time. These skills are transferable in session and both inside and outside of the bedroom.

When you are assigned home play, I use our session time to map out exactly how to do it safely. We walk through the somatic tools and communication skills you will need so you feel prepared before practising on your own. Then, at the start of our next session, we check in to talk about whatever came up for you, whether it went well, felt confusing, or brought up unexpected blocks. This continuous loop of preparation and reflection ensures you are fully supported and never left guessing between our appointments.

I prioritise these boundaries because protecting your sense of safety is what allows you to explore and transform comfortably.

What to expect when working together

Choosing to offer online sessions via Zoom was a very intentional decision for my practice. Using a virtual format allows you to remain in your own safe, comfortable and private space while we dive into this work together. Being in your own familiar room keeps our sessions from feeling cold or clinical, making it much easier to ground yourself, drop into your body and focus entirely on your experience.

If you’re ready to explore your pathway to pleasure, connection and pleasure within a sex-positive space, I invite you to take the first step.

Book your Foundation Session with me today, and let’s outline what this work can look like for you.

xx Michaela

Have a question of your own?

If you have a question about somatic sex coaching, intimacy, or working together, you can submit it anonymously through the Ask Michaela feature. Your question might be the focus of my next blog post!