In my work as a Certified Somatic Sex Coach, a common goal that women and people with vulvas want to reach is becoming more sexually confident.
For many women and people with vulvas, society has conditioned us to view sex as a performance. We are often taught to centre intimacy around a partner's pleasure, focus on how our bodies look from the outside, or treat our pleasure as something secondary to our partners. Over time, performing during sex leaves us disconnected and empty.
What is Sexual Confidence?
Sexual confidence is a woman’s belief in her ability to control her sexual behaviour and needs while maintaining her overall well-being. True confidence isn’t about knowing all the right moves or looking a certain way; it’s an internal state of safety self-belief and attunement. This manifests as sexual awareness, recognising your body as your own and your desires as valid. It’s also about feeling empowered to take up space in your own intimacy. This includes sexual courage and self-disclosure, allowing you to communicate boundaries, clarify wishes and openly express desires without hesitation or shame. Ultimately, it’s moving away from viewing sex as a performance and embracing a positive self-evaluation where intimacy becomes an embodied experience of connection, curiosity and mutual satisfaction.
How can a Somatic Sex Coach Help You Build Sexual Confidence?
If you have felt disconnected from your body and partner or caught up in overthinking during intimacy, you’re not alone. Working alongside a certified somatic sex coach will help you to set the overthinking or freezing to the side by allowing you to learn the skill of getting out of your head and into your body. We will look at how somatic (body-based) tools of breath, sound, movement, awareness, and touch can create safety and pleasure throughout and leading up to sexual experiences. Through the process of working together, you will learn to let go of expectations from the media and stop performing sex and discover what it feels like to experience sex on your terms.
What you’ll learn:
Embodiment
The skill to tune out overthinking and stay present with physical sensations in your body.
Self Knowledge
Your turn-ons and turn-offs.
Your boundaries, wants and desires.
What pleasure looks like for you.
Self Acceptance
Let go of shame, guilt and anxiety around expectations of sex and intimacy.
Health
How your hormonal, physical and mental well-being are intertwined with sex.
Communication
How to voice your desires, fears and boundaries
Active listening skills
Saying and hearing no
Mutual Pleasure
Learn about your partner’s anatomy and what may bring them pleasure
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you are curious about how somatic sex coaching can support you or your relationship, you can book a Foundation Session to explore your goals in a safe, non-judgmental space.
I offer:
Online Somatic Sex Coaching for men, women, and couples who want to move past intimacy blocks and towards creating the sex life of their dreams.
A gentle, attuned approach at your own pace
Tools to build safety, trust, connection and communication
The foundation session is where we will explore your goals for future sessions to help you build trust and touch that feels both safe and pleasurable.
Your Desire has Pathways.
Let’s explore them together.
Sex coaching for men, women, and couples with Michaela Tutty
Michaela Tutty is a Somatic Sexologist and Certified Sex Coach who works with men, women, and couples to improve their relationships, sex, and intimacy through practical skills. 